Existence
by angelic.someone
Summary: AU. Sometimes the story's not always about the hero, but about his shadow who just wants to be real. Of course, to get what they want, shadows have to operate in darkness, and Roxas is no exception to the rule.
1. those who do not exist

Disclaimer: Um, nope, not mine...yet.

A/N:This is an AU, but I'm going to try to keep personalities and other information as close as possible to the Game. I've actually only played the third game in the series, but have an idea on what occurs in the others. So, if something is grossly off about the characters, I would greatly appreciate it if someone would tell me.

* * *

Law DXL

Due to an increase of individuals born without "Hearts", also termed a "Nobody," it is hereby decreed that any such individual found should be reported to any local authority. To ensure the safety of our people, a "Nobody" will remain so labeled throughout their life on their "birth" records.

_Queen Alice_

_Law DXLV _

Since their appearance, there have been acts of violence against "Nobodies". To prevent further prejudice against these individuals, their caretakers shall keep their anonymity from "birth". A "Nobody" shall keep this anonymity throughout their life, if they so choose. Although labeled according to their "special" status, these records will be kept secret from the general population, and only those deemed qualified will have access to them_._

_King Oswald_

Law DLX

It is hereby declared that those to show discrimination in any form against a "Nobody" will be punished under the law. Discrimination will be intolerable, and a "Nobody" will from here forth have equal rights.

Let it be said and written that this will be the first in many steps to ensure that we eliminate this intolerance that has gone on too long against those who have no say in their circumstances. This will be the beginning of an age of tolerance and respect.

_King Mickey_

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Chapter 1

_those who do not exist_

* * *

It started with detention and as usual that meant it started with Hayner.

Roxas would never describe himself as a troublemaker. He always had the best intentions, it was just that he had the luck of getting into the worst situations. It was what had established him as somewhat as a rebel. Being friends with Hayner didn't exactly help the situation either.

He would've found it funny had he not been the victim of being labeled a problem child by teachers ever since he was young. Even though, he couldn't remember ever causing any major problems. Adults just didn't seem to like him.

He glanced at the bit of paper and tried not to curse his self-proclaimed new best friend for getting him into this type of situation.

Room 101 was scribbled messily on the detention slip that also drearily informed him that he was going to lose 30 hours of his life in the coming weeks.

Roxas stared at the slip pensively. It looked like Room 101 at least. It might have been a 107. Mr. Suoh's writing was small and not the least bit tidy. He was an absentminded school security guard, which may have accounted for the frequent fights that occurred in the school on a weekly basis.

While trying to read the room number (the best he could come up with was 101), Roxas pondered his situation and came to the conclusion that such terrible luck only seem to befall him.

Even he could admit that he had it coming. Was he really expecting for such a scheme to come off without a single hitch? Hayner's scheme had seemed brilliant when he had told Olette, Pence, and himself. They had gotten so caught up in it, that not even Olette's cautious words could have brought them down.

To think that it had only been a way of making some extra munny, so they could go to the beach or the amusement park. That had been Hayner's intentions at the beginning anyhow. Somehow, Hayner always seemed to be the mastermind of their little "schemes" yet he was the one to escape the blame that, more often than not, followed afterwards.

This one had been the biggest undertaking that they had ever attempted. His time with them had extended back only a month, but in that time he had managed to land himself in quite a few unwanted situation with his friends.

How had holding an illegal Struggle Tournament near school grounds ever seem like a good idea?

Roxas wasn't too sure, but he had a feeling that Hayner's enthusiasm and persuasiveness was the root of the problem. He promised himself to never get carried away again. This time they had kind of been asking for it...

They had planned a Struggle tournament carefully in the large park that was just two blocks away from the school. They had passed out flyers and spread the word through the high school rumor mill. Promising prize munny for the winner of the tournament also promised that they wouldn't be short of contenders, and they weren't.

They had been planning all along for either Hayner or Roxas to win though, and so keep the prize munny for themselves. Roxas had amazed them with his natural skill when he had first tried against Hayner. They were convinced that one or the other would be proclaimed the winner.

Charging 15 munny as an entrance fee sealed the deal. It was the only way they would have any prize munny to give in case Roxas and Hayner would fail to win, which was unlikely. Sure, it was breaking a couple of school rules, but it wasn't like they minded once almost a hundred kids showed up, each bringing the required fee.

In essence, it hadn't been such a bad idea.

In practice, it had been a failure, with Roxas paying the consequences alone.

Trying to keep a group of almost a hundred kids quiet while a Struggle Fight was underway proved to be...well impossible.

Not that the others hadn't tried. Roxas had been too busy on the thrill of advancing to the final rounds to really realize the problem that the others were trying to contain. Hayner had been knocked out of the tournament during the second round, and so it was up for him to win.

They hadn't thought things through well enough, it seemed. Hayner, Olette, and Pence just simply couldn't contain all the noise. Eventually someone heard all the teenagers cheering away and decided to call the school officials.

Suffice to say that Mr. Suoh had been sent to deal with the problem. Unfortunately for him, Mr. Suoh decided to show exactly when he was about to finish Seifer off in the final round. Already aware that Roxas was a "troublemaker," Mr. Suoh decided to assume that somehow Roxas was to blame for everything. He decided to ignore the other students who ran off in every direction at the sight of an adult.

So while Hayner was probably counting all the munny they had earned, Roxas had been receiving the longest and most tedious lecture of his life. He was sure that his friend would apologize later, and offer Roxas a larger share of the acquired munny, but at the moment he was feeling too tired to summon the energy to be appropriately angry.

After the aforementioned lecture of eternity, Mr. Suoh had shaken his head in a show of being disappointed and lamented that there was no other way for Roxas to learn his lesson than to serve detention.

All things considered, it could have been a lot worse. Had Mr. Suoh known that they had charged entrance to the illegal tournament, they would have lost all the munny and served a much longer detention or possible expulsion. He;d gotten off pretty easy if he thought about it.

Of course, Roxas wasn't in the mood for considering anything, except how to pass the next 2 hours without dying of boredom.

He walked slower as he reached Room 101, hoping to prolong his arrival. Upon reaching it, he peered through the small window on the door, trying to discern if it was the room he would be spending the next few weeks in.

It was a dimly lit room, and Roxas had to strain to make out anything. He could see a couple of teens, but they had their backs to him. He couldn't see a teacher, but he or she may have well of been on the other side of the room. Only a few desks could be seen, and they were all noticeably in a bad state.

There was a person nearby, though and his unmistakable red hair confirmed his identity. Roxas was new to the school, but even he had already been warned against the real "bad" crowd.

Axel definitely fell into the category. He was a loud-mouthed boy who had a habit of carrying around a lighter and casually bringing out in class or in the halls. You learned to avoid that type of person rather quick. Especially, after watching them set their school food on fire, because he thought it smelled funny. Not the most stable of people, Roxas had gathered.

Oh yeah, Axel's presence pretty much confirmed this was the detention room. Although Axel didn't seem like the type of person to actually come to detention, even though he was probably assigned to it everyday.

He turned the knob, and to his misfortune, found it to be unlocked. He sighed, and walked in, determined to get the first empty seat, and preferably avoid anyone's notice.

Roxas didn't often get what he wanted.

"Well, what do we have hear?" a mocking voice asked. He found himself face-to-face with a pretty blond girl he had never seen before. Her hair was arranged in a hairstyle that gave her a young appearance. However, her eyes and smile, which might have given her an innocent look otherwise, were sharp and cold, "Looks like someone's caught in our trap."

"You lost, kid?" another voice called out, and Roxas turned to Axel, who was gazing at him with the barest hint of a frown. He had his infamous lighter out, and making a steady click as he closed it and opened it. He got closer to him, pushing the blond girl to the side, making her frown.

Roxas eyed it warily before responding. "Is this detention?" he asked, hoping his voice sounded steady.

Another boy, with blonde hair in an odd style gave a short laugh. "Worse, kid."

Fear put aside, Roxas was feeling a little annoyed at being referred to as a kid. They weren't that much older than him.

He knew enough of the room's inhabitants to guess where and with who he was. Luck was just not on his side today.

There were a few unspoken rules at Twilight High, like at any other high school. Roxas had the disadvantage of being the new kid, but he had been given a crash course on the politics courtesy of Olette, Pence, and Hayner.

Break one of them, and usually a detention was the least of your concerns.

You don't get on Cloud's or Leon's bad side.

You never stare too long at Tifa's various assets. (Or at least don't get caught doing so.)

Flirting with Kairi or Aerith was never a good idea.

You don't make small talk with Fuu.

Roxas hadn't been here long enough to understand why these and other rules were in place. Hayner, Pence, and Olette merely stated the facts, and he followed them easily enough. He didn't particularly care why, and merely assumed that it was in his best interests to not get off on the wrong foot.

Again.

The very last two rules, though were the ones most vital for getting through high school without bloodshed.

Literally.

One, Organization XIII doesn't exist. You don't see, hear, or speak about Organization XIII.

Two, if the Organization happened to exist, you don't get in their way.

Unfortunately, Roxas had just broken the first if his suspicions were correct.

"Detention's in 107," a boy he recognized as Xigbar said from his seat. He had an easy smile on his face, but Roxas didn't trust the slightly menacing look he would've sworn was in his eyes. "You the new kid, right?" he asked, slowly rising from his seat.

He nodded, and edged his way closer to the door, hopefully not being too obvious. "My mistake. I'll be going then."

"Not so fast," the sole girl called out, making her way towards him, licking her lips, and then placing a finger on her lips. It made her look playful, as though she was about to share a secret with him. "We can't just let you wander in here. What if you decide to slip up about where we meet?" she questioned, tilting his chin up to face her.

He was downright terrified of the girl. Somehow she managed to look threatening, even with her odd pigtails and sweet face. He heard Axel sigh, and then muttered,"Larxene, leave the kid alone. He doesn't look like an idiot."

"Thanks," he replied before he could stop himself. Axel gave him an amused smirk, before casually waving his hand, in what Roxas gratefully recognized as a dismissal.

Another strongly built boy came forward before he could leave. "Shouldn't we keep-"

"No," a blue-haired boy said immediately. He gave the boy a sharp look, before looking at Roxas. His eyes were drawn to a tattoo, at least it looked like a tattoo, of an 'X' between his eyes. "You may leave."

Roxas didn't need to be told twice. He was in the process of turning around, when a hand clutched his shoulder almost painfully.

"Not yet," a voice said from behind him. The door that was to be his escape was suddenly closed, and he resisted the urge to groan in desperation.

"Roxas," the older, oddly gray-haired boy said his grip getting just a little tighter. Roxas stared in confusion at the boy. How had he known his name? He'd seen the boy around school, one of those who screamed 'Unapproachable'. "Get in. You're in my way."

Roxas sighed as he entered the room, he'd been so close to leaving just a few seconds before.

Two rules were broken. With a grim foreboding, he wondered if bloodshed was still avoidable.

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Reviews greatly appreciated.


	2. the boy with no heart

A/N: A little more of the Organization, and inclusion of the whole point of this.

Other characters will show up later. Well, enjoy!

By the way the mark they're talking about is the

* * *

Chapter 2

_the boy with no heart_

* * *

Roxas felt like he was stuck in one of those cop shows, where the suspect was being questioned by the police officers, hoping they could get him to confess.

Except in this case, Roxas was quite sure the roles were reversed. In fact, he supposed it was more like those war movies, where the protagonist was about to undergo torture from his captives.

He grimaced as he decided to stop thinking about movies. Although it was true the hero usually won in the end, he was no hero. He was still trying to figure out how he got here.

In the last ten minutes of his life, he had been forced to sit in a chair in the corner of the room, facing twelve students that made up the most feared group in this school. All on the way to detention, too.

The Organization never showed interest in anybody, unless they had "business dealings" to look into. Business dealings that according to popular rumor involved everything from drug dealings to "handling" people. Dealings that Roxas had had no part in.

To make it worse, there had been other rumors concerning Organization XIII.

Rumors that every single person in the Organization had a "special" status.

A status that made them the stuff of nightmares (_his nightmares_), and as if that wasn't enough, they were all looking a little too excited for his comfort.

"Roxas, I imagine that you have many questions for us," Xemnas, the gray-haired boy who had commanded him to stay in the room, said. He seemed to have the authority over the others. He had been introduced to them all during the last few minutes, and he doubted it was because they wanted his friendship.

Despite possibly being leader of the infamous Organization XIII, he appeared to be very composed and polite. Somehow this made him all the more wary towards Xemnas.

"Not really," he answered truthfully. "Well, actually, I am wondering why I'm still here. I don't expect you to trust me or anything, but believe me when I say, I have no intention of ever reliving this experience."

Axel gave him a wry grin in response. Larxene also smiled, but hers was far less pleasant.

"Too bad, kid," Demyx said. The boy with the blonde hair hadn't creeped him out yet, and to be honest, he seemed the most normal. Of course, in this group, that wasn't saying much.

"That is unfortunate," Xemnas said, not sounding as though he really cared either way. "However, we have had every intention of contacting you for some time. It is quite opportune that you have come to us."

"Why?" he asked rather uncomfortably. Perhaps they believed all those rumors that he was a "troublemaker" and wanted to recruit him? That was stupid though. He'd done nothing to attract their attention. Even if the rumors were true, they had no way of knowing-

Or so he thought.

It was Saïx, who answered. Despite Saïx's apparent calmness, Roxas had the distinct feeling he was enjoying himself at his expense. "We have recently _lost _our last member. There are only twelve of us now. Our name is Organization _XIII_."

Roxas understood with a sinking feeling in his stomach.

No fucking way.

"They want you to become a member," Axel clarified, as though he thought Roxas was too thick to get it himself. "Personally, I don't think you're cut out for it, but..." he trailed off, his eyes staring at him, with a gaze that was unreadable to Roxas. He fought the urge to squirm. He'd managed to remain composed as long as now. No need to show weakness. Besides, he thought that Axel was baiting him, and he wasn't going to rise to that.

"Of course he's not," Larxene said looking annoyed. "You can just tell he's_ that_ kid's-"

"Stop Larxene," a pink-haired boy admonished, his voice dark in contrast to his somewhat odd and colorful appearance. Marluxia, if Roxas remembered correctly. "Don't be a fool."

She quieted down, but a pout was in place. She glared at Marluxia, who was no longer looking at her. He was looking at Axel, who locked eyes with him, and then looked away.

"That kid's what?" Roxas asked, curious despite everything, about what she had been about to say. If it was about him, he had a right to know.

"Doesn't matter," Lexaeus, the auburn-haired boy, said shortly. "Are you up to it?"

"Why would you even want me in this Organization? I can't be useful to you," Roxas said matter-of-factly. He was hardly thrilled about being in this room, let alone willingly choosing to spend his time with these people. He'd prefer detention to these people's company.

Suddenly they all broke out in chuckles or smiles at his words. Neither was reassuring, as they all still managed to make those would-be happy expressions look and sound chilling.

"You have a particular quality, which we seek in any potential member," Luxurd said, as he twiddled with a pair of dice in one hand. "Surely, you're aware that your status differentiates you from most of the population," he finished, his eyes glinting.

"I don't understand," he said, knowing full well what they were referring to. How could they know? It was hidden. It wasn't even on his records. They had no way of knowing what he was.

"I think you do," Xaldin said, clenching and unclenching his fists. "Don't think we don't know what you are. You may be able to fool you're so-called friends, but we can always recognize one of our own."

So it was true. The rumors had gotten it right. He looked at them, taking in each face, and somehow knowing that he wasn't lying. They all knew. After hiding it all his life, they had managed to recognize him for what he was.

Now he really felt sick.

"Your silence is enough," Zexion said. "You are a Nobody, Roxas despite what your records indicate. You don't need to be on your guard around us. We are offering you membership, and we aren't even entertaining the notion that you might do anything other than accept."

The message was clear. He had no choice.

"I wonder though, how your records proclaim you to be a '_Somebody_'," Vexen told him, the word pronounced distastefully. "Those who find us don't often hide our identities."

" I didn't have the mark of a Nobody at first," Roxas said.

The mark that proclaimed them all outcasts wasn't present on his body when he was "born." The mark that was an odd mix between a cross and an anchor, somehow elegant and gothic despite what it represented.

"It appeared later, but by that time everyone believed I was a regular orphan. I didn't exactly correct them when the mark appeared," he said, remembering with a pang the sudden knowledge that he was a Nobody. It hadn't made any sense, but that had been years ago. He still didn't like to admit it, even to himself.

If anyone cared to look, his left shoulder held the mark.

The Nobody mark was said to be like a tattoo, by those who had studied it. Whatever it actually was, no one was quite sure. One thing was for certain; the mark was little more than a convenient tool for the others to mark them. When a Nobody came into existence (their birth) they always had the mark on them.

Roxas had been an exception, and he wasn't sure if that was a blessing or not.

"Interesting," Vexen said, his eyes indeed, looking at him with a new glint in his eyes. "It is something I shall look into. However, at the moment we have other matters to discuss. Your response, Roxas?"

"Look, I don't care if I am what you are," Roxas said, getting a new resolve. "I don't want to be a part of your...gang."

Gang seemed quite inappropriate, but mafia seemed a bit much.

"You hardly have a choice, Roxas," Xemnas said, his voice terribly patient, as though he was a little child who was being unreasonable in the way little children often were.

"Wouldn't it be terrible, if everyone found out what you are?" Larxene asked mockingly. "Sure, we have equal rights-" here she rolled her eyes-"but do you really think people will accept you so easily?"

He glared at her with narrowed eyes. It was true, but he didn't enjoy being blackmailed.

"I'm a Nobody, aren't I?" he replied, trying to copy her tone. It was so easy to admit, yet he still remembered vividly those days when he had lied to himself into believing he was a goddamn normal kid. "I don't care. Try another way to force me to become a member."

"You've fooled yourself into thinking you care," Zexion said, smiling slightly. "That's the difference between us. We've been watching you for some time. Either you're a very good actor, or you actually believe you can feel. "

He gritted his teeth in response, looking downward as his fists clenched. "You have no way of knowing the truth."

"That is of little importance. We have no time to fiddle away while you come to the inevitable decision. In fact, we were prepared for this type of response. We have a proposition for you," Luxord said, a smirk appearing on his face.

"What is it?" he asked looking up at Luxord, although he was no longer paying attention to him. His focus was on Xemnas, who was was getting closer, until he was right in front of Roxas.

"We can offer you what you want the most," he said, almost lazily as though he was used to saying this quite often.

"And what would that be?"

"What everyone in this room desires," he continued.

"A heart," Axel said although it was needless, because at Xemnas' words everyone present had gotten the same look in their eyes.

A look that Roxas was sure was in his at well.

Because in the end, that's what it all came down to.

He lowered his head resignedly to hide the sudden hunger his eyes probably reflected.

"Don't expect anything from me," he muttered. "If you can give me a heart though, I...I'll do it."

"Of course, you have my word that a heart will be given," Xemnas said, the ghost of a smile on his face. "It what we all want, after all."

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Leave your advice and criticisms.


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